Crossing Signals
I get a lot of emails both from the person who cheated and from the person who was cheated on which ask me if the relationship can ever be the same – or happy – again. Many see the cheating as the crossing of an imaginary line in the sand that means there’s no going back and no fixing things. This can sometimes be true. There are times when cheating means the end of the relationship, but this is often true when one or both parties are not willing to do the work necessary to repair the damage.
However, it is quite possible to be happy again after one party has cheated, but this is often a hard fought battle. Because in order to be genuinely and truly happy again, you will have to restore the security, the trust, and the bond that are likely missing now. I will discuss this more in the following article.
What Needs To Happen To Rebuild A Happy Relationship After Cheating: Many times, both people will tell me that the relationship was a happy one. Often people think that cheating in a relationship means that one or both people were desperately unhappy or unfulfilled in some way. This is not always the case. There are people in very happy relationships that still cheat. This often has to do with low self esteem, low impulse control, and cultural norms on the part on the person who cheated.
After the cheating, it’s quite probable that at least one of the parties are going to be very unhappy and very hurt. There has been a grave injury that has taken place. The trust is probably shattered. The hurt is probably so real that it has taken almost a life of it’s own, as though you can hear it’s beating heart pulsing in your ears. Sometimes the hurt is so bad that you feel that the only way that you can even survive from day to day is to remove yourself from the situation.
But often when you do this, you’ll find that this too, feels wrong. Even when you are alone, you are still thinking about it and you are still very much missing what you lost and are very angry that the life that seemed to work for both of you has been taken away. You woke up one day and thought you knew your reality when in fact you most certainly did not. And this absolutely is unfair. But there comes a time when you must evaluate what it is that is going to help you heal. One of the things that will push you toward this is being happy once again. And, often, you will need to decide if you are more likely to be happy remaining with the person who cheated or leaving them.
This is a decision that only you can make. And, there is really no correct or incorrect answer. The correct answer lies only in what is correct for you. And you will often need to take many factors into account, which may or may not include the state of the relationship before the affair, how well you understand and can over come what contributed to this, your own ability to forgive and move forward without holding on to negativity and score keeping, and the work that you are willing to do to restore your self esteem and to soothe your anger.
That’s not to say that you will need to be the one doing all of the giving. Most of this should lie with the person who cheated, but each partner has their own role to play. If you are going to stay together and be happy again, you must be willing to work through this with your eye on the end result. You must understand that you will need to be open, honest, and vulnerable for this to happen. You will need to understand, and then overcome, all of the contributing factors that have caused this. And sometimes in order for this to happen, you have to be willing to put aside your anger and listen.
Yes, this is a tall order. And sometimes, you may well wonder if it is worth it since you certainly didn’t ask for this and never intended it. But, I know from first hand experience that it is possible to get past this. You can be happy again. There may well be tough days between today and the time where you are healed, but take each day as it comes, remember your end goal, and decide that you are not going to let the one thing that has been wrong destroy the many things that were right.
Determine what derailed everything, fix it, and then discard the negativity and draw on what has always been working for you. You actually do have a unique opportunity to rewrite this life script. You can rewrite it as a triumph or a tragedy. That is really up to you. Which ever way you decide to go, know that you do deserve to be happy, whether you remain with the person who cheated on your or not.
I know that the thought of being happy again can seem elusive, but you may be surprised. Although I never would’ve believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband’s affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I know longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/
GO Train Crossing Signals
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Railroad Crossing Signal $15.00 |
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VINTAGE MARX BELL RINGING CROSSING SIGNAL IN BOX $7.95 |
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LIONEL TRAINS AUTOMATIC CROSSING GATE & SIGNAL $11.50 |
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HO Crossing Signals & Gates, 6 ea, NIBP Bachmann #42200 $7.19 |
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LIONEL CROSSING SIGNAL $0.99 |
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TRAIN ACCESSORY LOT LIGHTS SIGNALS CROSSING GATE O GAUG $29.99 |
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CROSSING GATE & FLASHER SIGNAL ANIMATION CONTROLER SET $124.95 |
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Lot of 4 Lighted Railroad Crossing Signals $9.99 |
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Diecast HO Railroad Crossing Signal American Flyer ??? $4.99 |
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Lot of 5 Vintage HO Railroad Crossing Signals Lighted $14.99 |
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Right-of-Way ROW 4060 Crossing Signal NOS $14.99 |
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American Flyer Gilbert HO Railroad Crossing Signal EX $7.99 |
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LIONEL TRAINS AUTOMATIC CROSSING GATE & SIGNAL SET EXC! $15.50 |
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HO – PAIR MODERN GRADE CROSSING SIGNALS w/ ARMS – BUILT $49.95 |
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HO Scale -UP WIG WAG GRADE CROSSING PAIR BRASS- SIGNAL $29.95 |
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LIONEL POSTWAR 262 CROSSING GATE W/ HIGHWAY SIGNAL $58.00 |
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Z-Stuff DZ-1010 OScale Crossing Gate & Signal Pair NEW $34.00 |
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NJ Int’l N Over Road Grade Crossing Signal w/LEDs 2191 $39.95 |
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Model Power # 1681 Crossing Signal pkg(2) HO Scale MIB $18.98 |
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HO Crossing Signals & Gates, 6 ea, NIBP Bachmann #42200 $7.19 |
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VINTAGE LIONEL #66 RAILROAD CROSSING SIGNAL & 2 SIGNS $9.99 |
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Marx O Scale Crossing Signal and 2 Street Lights used $5.00 |
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HO – PAIR MODERN GRADE CROSSING SIGNALS w/ ARMS – BUILT $49.95 |
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Marx 417 Bellringing Crossing Signal {SH100798} $9.99 |
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CS-2 O-Scale Grade Crossing Signal Set for 2 or 3 Rail $59.95 |
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CS-2 O-Scale Crossing Signal Set for Lionel MTH Atlas $59.95 |
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CS-2 O-Scale Grade Crossing Signal Set for 2 or 3 Rail $59.95 |
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CS-2 O-Scale Grade Crossing Signal Set for 2 or 3 Rail $59.95 |
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CS-2 O-Scale Grade Crossing Signal Set for 2 or 3 Rail $59.95 |
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NJ INTERNATIONAL N 2190 OVER ROAD CROSSING SIGNAL $22.00 |
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HO – PAIR MODERN GRADE CROSSING SIGNALS w/ ARMS – BUILT $49.95 |
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HO Railroad Crossing Signal w/Relay Box $14.15 |
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LIONEL 154 CROSSING SIGNALS (2) $10.00 |
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Model Power: O Scale Flashing Railroad Crossing Signals $19.99 |
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LIONEL TRAIN AUTOMATIC CROSSING GATE AND SIGNAL $16.25 |
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Walthers #2303 Cantilever Crossing Signal-Modern (NEW) $35.99 |
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Plasticville crossing gates and signals mint condition $0.99 |
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CROSSING SIGNALS WITH GATES BRASS, MOTORIZED $100.00 |
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CROSSING SIGNALS WITH GATES BRASS, MOTORIZED $100.00 |
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Marx Bell Train Crossing Signal $0.99 |
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HO Life Like RR CROSSING SIGNS & SIGNALS $4.50 |
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LIONEL DEALER OPERATING CROSSING SIGNAL 6 FOOT HIGH NEW $95.00 |
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O Scale LIONEL #154 Automatic Highway Crossing Signal $19.99 |
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CROSSING GATE & FLASHER SIGNAL ANIMATION CONTROLER SET $124.95 |
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Lionel – Fundimensions -Auto Crossing Gate & Signal – O $14.99 |
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Lionel 6-2162 Auto. Crossing Gate & Signal – MIB! $49.99 |
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HO – PAIR TRANSITION GRADE CROSSING SIGNALS LEDs BUILT $49.95 |
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HO – CANTILEVER GRADE CROSSING MODERN 2-LANE SIGNAL $29.95 |
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HO – CANTILEVER GRADE CROSSING MODERN 1-LANE SIGNAL $24.95 |
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CROSSING GATE & FLASHER SIGNAL ANIMATION CONTROLER SET $109.95 |
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HO – CONTROLLER – GRADE CROSSING -FLASHING SIGNAL $34.95 |
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Lionel #69 Bell crossing warning Signal LOOK OUT $9.99 |
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HO Scale -UP WIG WAG GRADE CROSSING PAIR BRASS- SIGNAL $29.95 |
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AMERICAN FLYER CROSSING SIGNAL LIGHT HOUSING $3.00 |
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Lionel Postwar Instructions for No 154 Crossing Signal $7.99 |
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railroad crossing signal light train track $5.00 |
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Lionel 2 Old Vintage Railroad Crossing Signals – USA! $3.99 |
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Vintage Lionel 154 Crossing Signal with 154C connector $9.99 |
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Marx Trains Red Bullseye Crossing Signal with OB $0.99 |
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HO TRAIN DETAILS, ATLAS, 4 CROSSING, 2 SIGNAL, 1 0B $4.00 |
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Lot 4 LIONEL O Railroad Crossing 252 & Signal MONITOR $9.98 |
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HO – PAIR TRANSITION GRADE CROSSING SIGNALS LEDs BUILT $49.95 |
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VINTAGE LOUIS MARX & CO CROSSING SIGNAL & BOX & DIAGRAM $20.00 |
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HO – MODERN COMBO CROSSING SIGNAL w/GATE ARM – BUILT $79.95 |
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HO scale – Tyco Lighted Crossing Signal w/ light & bell $9.99 |
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Tomar Industries Crossing Signals with Gates H-863 Ho $166.95 |
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Marx 418 Post War Bell Ringing Crossing Signal *Box C9* $29.99 |
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MARX OPERATING CROSSING SIGNAL & BELL $18.99 |
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MARX OPERATING CROSSING SIGNAL $8.99 |
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Bachman 42504 N Crossing Signals/Gates (12) $5.53 |
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N guage crossing signals and gates $0.99 |
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LIONEL POSTWAR 154 O GAUGE HIGHWAY CROSSING SIGNAL $20.00 |
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Bachmann Model RR Crossing Signals Gares MSIP $4.99 |
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MTH RAILKING CROSSING GATE AND SIGNAL 30-11017 $59.95 |
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Vintage Marx Metal Railroad Crossing Signal & Light $0.99 |
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TRAIN ~Wall Clock~ track railroad locamotive model rr $15.99 This BRAND NEW wall clock measures 10 inches in diameter. It has a black plastic frame with a clear cover. Graphics are rich and vibrant and will last a lifetime. These clocks make a great accent to any room in your home or business. A perfect addition to your kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, family room or anywhere. The clock has precision quartz movement and operates on 1 AA battery (not included). P… |
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RAILROAD CROSSING train signal round NEW sign $19.95 RAILROAD CROSSING SIGN. A BRAND NEW SIGN!! Made of thick (.040in.) aluminum and tough cast vinyl this sign is 12in. wide and 12in. tall. Made to last for years outdoors also makes a great display indoors. Comes with 2 holes pre-punched for easy installation, corners are rounded. Buyer to pay $7.00 shipping anywhere in the USA, others contact seller for exact shipping cost. Personal checks or money… |
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1948 Western Railroad Supply Crossing Gate Signal Print Ad (45526) An original vintage magazine ad print from the year published. Print ads make unique gift items that can be framed as artwork. Shipped flat un-framed in plastic sleeve with backing board…. |